Buckle

Marigolds
Originally uploaded by nodigio

I know how there are folks from other states who claim their state is the buckle of the Bible Belt.

I’m sure it may feel that way to them, and no doubt the city where they live may have a higher than average concentration of Evengelical Christians, but according to the 2008 Religious Poll (no link yet, I’m at the wrong computer), unless you’re from Oklahoma, you’re not really in the Buckle of the Bible Belt. Those from Arkansas are reall close. I’d say they are the end of the belt with the holes punched in it that goes through the buckle. Together, Oklahoma and Arkansas hold the belt together.

Both of those states have more than 50% of their population claiming to be Evengelical Christians, and the total sum of Christians of all types exceeds 85% – higher than any other state by double digits.

Oklahoma has 86% Christians (2/3 are Evangelicals, aka Dominionists), 11% unaffiliated but are considered Christian by default, 1% Muslim, 1% Jewish, and the remaining 1% is a mix of Buddhist,s Pagans, New Agers, Wiccans, Asatruar, and other non-Christians.

Oklahoma is also one f the states with the most belligerent “War on Christmas” in-your-face warriors. Sad, that 97% of our population has declared war on 3% who really don’t care what they do for their holiday because it isn’t ours and we don’t celebrate it. Their militant methods aren’t going to convince any of us to convert.

All y’all Christians out there? Get over it. Your persecutions ended centuries ago and any persecution you perceive is just that – a perception unfounded in reality. Fear-mongering isn’t going to win you any converts. Antagonist behavior isn’t going to win you any converts. And faking persecution is only going to make the rest of us laugh at you. Y’all own the bulk of our society. You can afford to be gracious and let the rest of us live in peace.

Perhaps the problem is that Christianity has grown so large and so pervasive and so diverse that you feel lost among hte masses. Crying persecution is the only method you know for gaining attention, because it worked so well when you were a fledgling religion.

You need to accept that you are the dominant religion and act with the confidence that should inspire in you. One would think that with such dominance, only the best traits of Christianity would be visible. Instead, you act like jealous children throwing tantrums to demand all of the attention, grabbing all the presents under the tree and wailing because it isn’t enough, and it isn’t what you really wanted.

Small wonder even Christians are abandoning the howling inferno that has become Giftmas, and small wonder we laugh at your whiny attempts to claim persecution.

Y’all have no clue what real persecution is. If you did, you wouldn’t bandy the word around so carelessly.

So, I suppose I’m one of the motes on that shiny, shiny Buckle, seeing as I live right smack dab in the middle of the Buckle of the Bible Belt.

Now, there are good things about living here.

The Christians around here hold some very Numenist beliefs to heart. Folks here tend to take care of one another, even if they are strangers. We rally together in the event of disasters and we race to see who can be the most helpful. We don’t blame victims of disasters, even if they did do stupid stuff to make their situation worse. We understand that folks aren’t always in their right minds in a disaster, so we’re more forgiving. These are the Numenous traits of caring and community that I like seeing in other religions and other people.

Folks around here are a chatty bunch, we’ll talk up strangers in waiting lines, develop friendships in the course of an elevator ride, and comment on one another’s picnics – anad we picnic a lot in our long summers. That’s another Numenous trait – being sociable and friendly – that is common hereabouts.

Folks tend to respect other folks property, except the kids who get up to a bit of mischief on Game Nights. Those of us living near high school stadiums can expect shoe polished car windows, toilet papered trees, and egged curbs or cars on really competitive football nights, not to mention the cannon fire, gunshots, fireworks, and really loud bands during halftime, at really good touchdowns or plays, and after the games. I could probably do without a lot of this – especialy the cannon fire and the eggings (although I must admit, only one of our cars was ever egged just once, and that was actually a Halloween prank and not a Game Night prank), but in the spirit of community, I have to admit it’s very Numenous. So I deal with it in good heart.

Even though I live only a couple of blocks from one of the largest Dominionist churches, few of those congregants live around here. My neighborhood is heavily non-affiliated Christian, Catholic Christian, or agnostic, with a few Pagan types around, which makes it very pleasant. And very easy to be Numenist.

But I only have to venture into a store to be slapped with the insanity that is Evangelical Christianity, and be forced to hear and observe their whininess, especially at this time of year.

My biggest flaw is that I can’t abide whiny people. So, you whiny Christians, stop it. Quit your whining and get over it already. You’re in control. You practically own America. There’s not a single reason for you to be whiny-assed little brats.

If you don’t want me (and those like me) laughing at you and treating you with all the disdain your behavior deserves, you might consider behaving with some modicum of – oh, say – maturity? Quit faking persecution and trumping up artificial wars, and we’ll get along just fine.

You can say “Merry Christmas” if you want and we’ll say “Happy Holidays” if we want because we really do want you to enjoy all your holy days this season as much as we enjoy ours.